The great spit

As most of you may be aware, the chinese are well into spitting, and it's always well out of them! Let me describe it.

It starts with a tingling in the toes. This is a warning to a china man, it means: legs apart, back straight, get ready; let's do this! The tingling then turns into a rattling and moves up to the knees. Many of the unprepared have been felled at this stage - they fall to the floor a spluttering wreck. The rattling then shoots up to the goolies, which causes the spitter to bend double. At this point the vibrating is so strong it has an effect similar to the pneumatic drill, in fact I have seen china men 3 feet tall disappear into the ground right before my eyes. The shaking then fires up to the brain and rebounds into the throat. The shoulders roll, then comes the great earthquake-like hawk, "ahhhhhhh-oiiiiii-hhuuuuuuppppp-oooh".

Our china man is ready, but here comes the crunch: are you man, woman, moron or are you not too sure? Are you all content and no delivery (like this blog)? Some hapless chaps project prematurely and leave the unmistakable stain on their chests. I find these are usually called 'Dougy', or in Chinese, 'Dougy chin chin'. Others are all blow and no content; nothing is more embarrassing! The successful china man who projects his spit like he spreads his seed turns, itches his balls, and boasts to the present company (men, women, dogs, dwarfs, even lamp posts).

ttfn (ta ta for now),
tommy