Dear reader,

I'm aware of what Mark has written about me (though I cannot see it), and I'm sure it's not too complimentary: let me put the issue to bed.

I was bargaining for several essential items: a fake memory card, fake ipod accessories, a most comfortable and useful Komono, an ivory back stratcher; and most importantly a Canada Goose -oooooooooooooh baby! Let me describe. Black, suitable to match any clothes -and, on some occasions, no clothes at all! numerous pockets, for all shapes and sizes; by my calculation in the pockets I could carry the whole disassembled swiss army factory. A fur hood - detatchable, of course - attached for the sensitive (gay) city dweller, and detached for the hard nosed country man (needless to add, if mark was wearing the coat, the hood would be firmly Attatched!). The coat was topped off by a red and ice white Canada emblem. All in all an essential piece of kit for a man of my calibre.

So where did all the time go? Well... an Englishman abroad will never has his pride stolen by a foreigner. "Ain't no nip gonna' steal my pride, nigga'!" (do you think this is too racist or should i leave it in?). I refused to pay the extra three pounds (total 12 pounds) the various shop assistants wanted. In conclusion, I did not leave empty handed, I left with my pride... till the clumsy teenager tripped over and banged his head.

So dear reader, do you think I should go back to the market to acquire my coveted jacket?

Tune in next week when I will be reviewing magazine 20 of the horticultural heroes series.

ttfn,

Britain's greatest culturalist and philanthropist, Tommy